"What I can't say very easily is: I need you.

I was thinking about it for a long time and realised that I don't express this thought to anyone I know... Infact, I cannot remember when I have done that last. I love you is far more easy to express than I need you.

I need you to be just on my side, to comfort me, to save me, to give me company and just talk to me.

Instead, I just collect people around me. "

- [DL]

Does God Exist?

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen. It's an explanation other people will understand.

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists." "Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barb er finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside." "Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

"Be the miracle! " - Bruce Almighty

~The Songs~

These are the songs that have spoken to me in different levels. These are "The Songs".

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd (Gilmour, Waters)

Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear you’re feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.Just a little pinprick. [ping]
There’ll be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working. good.
That’ll keep you going for the show.
Come on it’s time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

Nothing else matters
So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Nothing Else Matters - Metallica (James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and Kirk Hammett)

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters

Everybody Hurts - R.E.M (berry/buck/mills/stipe)

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

’Cause everybody hurts. take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. don’t throw your hand. oh, no. don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. and everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. so, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. you are not alone

Imagine - John Lennon (Lennon)

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Soulmates ?!?

When I was a kid, I used to attend these VBS Camps. For those of you who don't know what it means, VBS stands for Vacation Bible School. The camp leader asked us to write a list of things/qualities that you would want your husband/wife to have. And then ask God that thre be such a person in the world and you find him/her.

Me being so naive, did as he told us. Prepared this cute list of whatever came to my mind. And then kept the list in front of me and started prayin.

Now, my thought process has changed. Maybe, there is someone out there for me. But I ain't gonna spend my life searching for. I just dont believe in soulmates. I believe in giving it your best shot whoever you are with - whether she is your soulmate or not. The two of you have to work together to make it happen.

So, my soulmate, wherever you are, don't expect me to find you.

Why has Life chosen Love ?!?

Strange is the emotion - Love.

Wit respect to matters of the heart, Life always has played its fair share of games. Some fair and some fairer. Why has life chosen this emotion to toy with?

Love comes in all forms - parental love, sibling love, for the gastronomic entities, patriotic love, love for the the four-legged creatures, for kids, for fellow brothers and sisters, which may range from the most innocent and pure to the most perverse. Love ncompasses all that Life has to provide us. It is the "baba" of all the other emotions. There is no other emotion greater than love, i guess.

Take for example, my friend Ms. Blah, who unlike the name suggests is otherwise.. especially with matters related to the heart. Even though she has gone through a bad patch with this emotion, she still believes in it. That, I guess, is the power of this love. She and many others like her still have their faith and hope in it.

I hope they stop hoping and they find their "love".

"Life of Pi"

Just finished the book right now. And because of this book, I've realised one thing. Each of us have to find our very own Richard Parker. Who/What will be the sole purpose of our survival. Who/What will make us strive better... harder..

The moment you stop searching for your Richard Parker, life'll just pass you by. The will to live is just lost.

What if Love..

as pure as her's was.. as Adaa's..
was truly blind..
was truly immortal..
could truly break those man-made barriers..
could invoke a tune in every person such that ran it to the tip of their pinky toes..
was pure to the truest sense of the word..
would make a person rise instead of fall..
would him strong instead of weak..
was all we ever needed..

what if..

...

Some say you don't need a crisis to" make" a man. Its bullshit.

These people are the ones who have it good all their lives. Its like how Emily Dickinson once said "Success is counted sweetest by those who never succeed". If I hadnt faced "that", I don't think I would be the way I am right now.

The saying "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going" should be changed to "When the going gets tough, the steadfast gets going".

I know this for sure.

So then maybe, I am right in not having said just a Bye.

The "Decision"!

What exactly is a decision? Its basically what results ehen electrical impulses are sent across your brain w.r.t a choice and both the hemispheres make a compromise and arrive at a result.

That day, the Fourth of the Twelfth month of the third year of the Second Millenium, in short, December 4th, 2003, my brain did just that. Without my knowledge. Maybe, it wasn't my brain. I will never know. But then, I owe it to those words that my brain spurted out from my lips. Those words were a result of a decision my brain made. Or was it my heart.

That decision broke me. And it made me.

I should have just told, Bye!