Comfortably Numb

Too Much Beauty?!?

The famous "American Beauty" plastic bag "speech" in the movie -

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."

When we are mindful and soak in the way things are naturally, we can experience similar magic in the most ordinary of otherwise unnoticed everyday phenomena. What is this benevolent force, if there is one? I choose to think it is our force of mindfulness itself, which urges us to be benevolent and to see things in a benevolent way. But is there so much beauty that we might not be able to stand it? I don't think so. We might be surprised, overwhelmed, but it is only when we crave for the beauty we see to last or increase that we "can't stand it."

...

One more crossroad!

I've reached a crossroad in my life - to do something that I think might make me happy but would have to leave someone behind who I know makes me happy.

What do I do? It's a damn predicament.

I just cant prepare my heart and mind to leave. People tell me its destiny. That's crap.
The Creator has given us Free Will. It is up to us to decide what we do with our lives.

So, what do i do??

"Sometimes you can't make it on your own"

i just heard this n it just spoke to me.. again..
.. it is you dat i look in the mirror and it is you when i don't pick up the phone, sometimes you cant make it on your own.

"Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own "
--U2

Que sera sera!

Today, I feel so alone. It is a normal feeling for me... usually; but today, I feel it more than ever.
Donno why.

I feel controlled by everyone... manipulated by everyone... There are a few that understand me but why they are busy worrying about the world.

Don't know where I'm going with this. Well, you figure it out and let me know.

Till then, que sera sera.